


Wings Of A Hawk

by pinksky_redclouds



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alphonse is a cinnamon roll I'll just say that because i love him, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Tension, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/F, Family Feels, Fixing Some Sads While I'm At It, Found Family, Gen, How Do I Tag, Parental Riza Hawkeye, Parental Roy Mustang, Repressed Feelings, There's so much of that, poor Riza
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25941784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinksky_redclouds/pseuds/pinksky_redclouds
Summary: Riza Hawkeye was a soldier above all else. Her loyalties were to her commanding officer and their shared goal to reform Amestris. The road ahead of them was already a long and winding one.And then, it only got even more complicated. Her commander, Roy Mustang, discovered two gifted alchemists in the quiet town of Resembool, guilty of the ultimate taboo: human transmutation. And to make matters worse, the pair were only two young children left nearly completely alone in the world, trying to bring their mother back to life--and they paid a hefty price for it.Her commander wanted to make the older of the two a State Alchemist, if he was willing. Desperate to recover his younger brother's physical body after being forced to bond his soul to a suit of armor to keep him alive, the boy agreed. However, the allowance Roy made for him came with a condition: due to their young age, the two boys would live with a member of the military, who would act as a guardian while the pair recovered and trained--since, upon learning what they had done, Riza herself had offered to take them in.She didn't know exactly what it meant to be a mother. But for the sake of the two children, Riza was willing to figure it out.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric & Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	Wings Of A Hawk

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy, y'all. (Typing this note AGAIN because I'm an idiot who pressed the back button and it got eaten.) Anyway, think you if you are still here after my long-winded summary. By all accounts, I should be working on my Violet Evergarden fic, but I'm stuck, and this was in my docs for many months before I finally put all this together. 
> 
> Now, this is an AU where Riza adopts Ed and Al. I also messed with the timeline a little bit--see, in this, Ed and Al are still the same age when they attempt human transmutation and meet Roy and Riza, but this takes place in 1913 instead of 1910. By 1914, the brothers are 12/11 instead of 15/14. I just think it would be really, really funny to write about the actual consequences of an *actual 12 year old* having a rank equivalent to Major, that the anime glossed over a little bit since Ed is only 12 for like 5 minutes in episode 2. (No shade, anime's great, I just think there's some potential there for at *least* a joke or two.) 
> 
> Also, this probably won't be a full, detailed rewrite of Brotherhood. I do not have the brain cells to do a full play-by-play rewrite of 64 episodes. But I'll try to hit the key points. This AU is also gonna tweak a few *other* things, but I'm not telling you what those are yet ;)
> 
> Anyway, happy reading! Comments/kudos are always welcome and appreciated! (But don't go asking for future plot change hints in the comments, I will not leak any information, lol.) Also, this was supposed to be exactly 10k words, and it technically is, but I had to put the quote at the top. Quote may not make sense now, but it will later. At least, in my head, it does. 
> 
> Bon voyage, readers!

_"Love is the only thing we take with us. It is all we carry from one life to the next."_

_-Lang Leav,_ Memories

* * *

**Amestris, Eastern Command. 1913.**

"I need your advice, Lieutenant."

Riza Hawkeye almost dropped the stack of papers she was holding when she heard those words. Of all the reasons for the Colonel to call her into his office to have a private conversation, this was one she hadn't anticipated. The last time Roy Mustang had asked her for advice—real, serious advice—they'd both been on a battlefield in Ishval. Circumstances since then hadn't exactly required her to advise him, considering Amestris had been relatively calm ever since the end of the civil war.

Even so, she was determined to keep her composure. So, Riza set down the paperwork gingerly on his desk, where he sat with his back turned to her, smoking a cigarette. "Please try to get this paperwork done on time, sir," she offered as a reply. In return, he chuckled a little, turning around his chair to face her.

"I'll try… _if_ you listen to what I have to say." He smirked, and inwardly, his lieutenant rolled her eyes. She'd grown used to this smug behavior from him, but it still irritated her at times.

"I'm listening, Colonel. What do you need help with?"

He sighed, leaning back in his seat. There was a strange, distant look in his eyes as he grabbed hold of his cigarette and put it out on his desk, leaving it there. "As you know, last week I went to Resembool to find out for myself if the rumors of two brilliant alchemists living there held any weight. And, technically speaking, the reports were accurate. However…" He trailed off, picking up a pen and turning it over with his fingers. For a moment, his eyes closed.

"The source who provided me with their information neglected to mention that the alchemists in question were skilled enough to attempt human transmutation. It failed, but I saw the aftermath of it. It was… unlike anything I've ever seen. And I hope I never have to see anything like it ever again."

Riza was momentarily taken aback by his statement, blinking in confusion. Even though he'd undoubtedly seen something horrifying, she wished she could have accompanied him—Riza had suddenly fallen ill with a cold the day they were supposed to depart, and so he'd been forced to go alone. "Did you take any action, sir?" Ordinarily, an alchemist committing the biggest taboo would, if caught, be punished by law, as it went against the basic principles alchemists were expected to follow—one of which was a law against creating people. Though she herself had never heard of any incidents involving human transmutation before, at least not in recent years, so she was unsure what the exact protocol was.

In answer to her question, Roy shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "Normally, I would have. But the fact is, we need more State Alchemists after the civil war with Ishval. And I would've offered them that position so the State Military could keep an eye on them. It's just that, well…"

He paused yet again, leaving Riza standing there with nothing to do but wait. In a time that was far behind them, before her father died and there were no walls of professionalism between her and the Colonel, Riza might have reached out to him, setting a hand on his shoulder to let him know she was still there. But she couldn't do that now, especially not here in his office. The shift had felt so strange to her in the beginning, the air of separation enforced by protocol and regulations. It was a manufactured distance that she doubted would be there if they weren't both soldiers.

Finally, he spoke again. "The alchemists are… they're children." Riza tensed, almost gasping at his words. Roy let go of the pen he'd been holding in one hand, and it fell to the surface of his desk with a noticeable clatter. "In any other case, I'd want to have a word with the parents about their children's skill, but these two don't have any parents. Their mother's dead, and their father ran off to God knows where." Her gaze softened somewhat at that, and she had to wonder if he'd noticed.

"How… how have they managed on their own?"

Roy shrugged, another sigh escaping him. "I was told they lived alone in their parents' house after their mother died—until recently, anyway. After their failed attempt at human transmutation, they took shelter in a nearby house with an old family friend of theirs. One of them lost a leg and his arm. The other lost his entire body—and apparently, the older one was able to bond his younger brother's soul to a suit of armor. Somehow, they both survived. I'd never heard of _any_ alchemist living through a rebound like that before, never mind two children," he murmured thoughtfully. He picked the pen back up, scratching something down on a sheet of paper. "Personally, I think they'd make excellent State Alchemists."

Riza sighed. "But they're a little too young for that, aren't they?" Roy nodded, absently chewing on the end of the pen. His eyes were on her, but distant, as though he was looking through Riza rather than _at_ her. For a moment, she was reminded of her father.

"Yes," he got out, after a brief pause, bringing Riza back to the present. "The older one, the one with the missing limbs, is eleven. His brother is ten. How those two little kids became skilled enough to try to bring back their mother _and_ for the older one to save the younger one's life is beyond me. It's a tragedy, of course, but…" a sigh escaped him, and for a moment, his eyes closed.

When he opened them again, the distant look in his eyes had faded, like he'd finally stopped seeing through her. "The fact is, kids _that_ skilled could be very dangerous if not trained properly. I managed to get them to tell me they had an alchemy teacher for a few years after their mother died, but they don't want to go back to her. My guess is they can't face her after what they've done. And they're too young to be State Alchemists. In two or three years, if the older one gets automail, then _maybe_ , but definitely not now. The fact is, though, they _need_ supervision. We can't make them, of course, but offering to enlist them in the military in a few years might make it easier to convince them to live somewhere else." He tapped the pen restlessly against his desk.

Riza, who had been silent for most of his spiel, nodded in agreement. "I agree with you, sir. It seems like the children need someone who will look out for them." For a moment, she was reminded of her own childhood—even though she'd had a father growing up, the two weren't ever that close. And after her mother died, the only person Riza had to look out for her was… herself, really. "I'll admit that having children be a part of the military, even older children, isn't ideal, but they do need someone to officially act as a guardian."

Roy smiled, tilting his head a bit at her. "That's what I like about you, Lieutenant. You always figure out what I need before I even have to ask." Then he sighed, the relaxed expression leaving his face. "The only problem is, I think anyone with enough alchemical knowledge and connections to the military to keep them in line would be too afraid to take them in after they found out what those boys did."

The children needed someone willing to fight for them, Riza knew. Someone who wouldn't be too terrified of their skills, and with enough of their own knowledge of alchemy, to keep anything else like that from happening again. In that moment, something occurred to the lieutenant, that even she knew might have been a bit insane, maybe even impossible for someone like her. But then again, she nearly always figured out a way to make things work.

Riza herself was not a State Alchemist, or any kind of alchemist, even, but she had one—the only Flame Alchemist in the world—as her superior officer. Her father had been an alchemist as well, and instructed the same student that was now sitting across from her at his desk. She could get by with that. At least, she hoped.

And above all, Riza knew how it felt to be that terrified child who thought she was all alone in the world, even with a parent to raise her. She imagined those two boys must have felt the same way. And she'd lost her own mother too, when she wasn't much younger than they were now.

She'd be the last person in the world to blame them for trying to bring their mother back.

"Lieutenant?" Roy spoke up, breaking her from her thoughts. "You still with me? I need your advice on how to proceed." She nodded hastily, blinking as if to clear her head, then noticed he was looking at her rather strangely. The usual bravado was gone from his eyes, and so was the serious expression he normally wore when he was burdened by a decision that had to be made. It may have been her imagination, but his eyes just seemed… sad.

 _Oh_.

In a flash, she remembered. _He knows I lost my mother_ , Riza thought. _That's right—I told him when we were younger. He probably thinks he drudged up something unpleasant. Well, he did_ , she admitted to herself, _but it's given me a resolve_.

Riza nodded. "Of course, sir." Roy gave her an expectant look in return, setting his elbows on the desk and gesturing with one hand for her to continue. "Well, I don't have forever, Lieutenant. If you've got any ideas, I need to hear them."

Her next words came tumbling from her mouth, without any of the articulation she had in her head. Riza supposed a moment of emotion got in the way of her speech, but she also knew that in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter much. The Colonel didn't have many options, it seemed, so she expected him to take whatever help he could get.

"I'll take them."

His jaw fell open, then snapped closed, in a manner similar to a stunned fish. He blinked rapidly, as if utterly bewildered by her reply. "You… what?" Despite the situation, Riza fought the urge to roll her eyes at his behavior.

"With all due respect, sir, I believe you heard me," she replied. "I'll go back to Resembool with you and offer to take them back with me. I know I can't force them to, but I'll do as you suggested and mention the position of State Alchemist as a possibility."

Roy nodded approvingly, leaning a bit further over his desk. "Even I would like to know if restoring the younger one's body is possible." Then he frowned, causing Riza to quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Is something the matter, sir?" She rested a hand on his desk, drumming her fingernails against the wood, and Roy sighed. It could have been her imagination, but for a moment, she thought his eyes flickered over to her hand.

He shook his head. "No, no. It's just that…" He tilted his head, a little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth—confusing her further. "You sure you could handle two young kids? Being a soldier is hard on all of us, but especially on the ones who have kids. Not to mention, you just got a puppy, and, well… you're, uh…"

"Not married?" she finished for him, giving her superior a pointed look—he averted his eyes, clearly indicating that was what he'd wanted to say, and Riza chuckled.

Her gaze softened a little. "My father raised me on his own, Colonel. If he could do that, then I can manage this." Roy stilled at his lieutenant's frank words, letting out a heavy sigh as he thought that over. Riza's face would appear expressionless to the outside observer, but he knew her well enough to know there were a thousand different feelings hidden in her eyes right then.

She'd never met them, but already cared about the two orphaned, scarred children who knew too much. Of that, Roy Mustang could be certain. It was so like her—she'd always had a protective streak, after all. Perhaps a more selfish man with an agenda like his would worry about his adjutant getting distracted, but all Roy felt for his Lieutenant in that moment was admiration.

So, he nodded. "Okay, Lieutenant. We'll go back to Resembool next week. But I'm warning you now, they'll be pretty shaken up. They've… been through a lot for kids their age." Riza gave him a terse nod in return, having expected that. She turned to leave despite him not dismissing her—she knew the conversation was over even though he hadn't said it outright.

However, Riza paused in the doorway to his office, looking back over her shoulder at him. Roy tensed, but before he could say anything to her, she beat him to it. "Thank you, Colonel."

Then she was gone. Even so, her parting words brought a smile to Roy's face, and he murmured a reply, though he knew his lieutenant could not hear him. And, if he was being honest, he would not have said anything if she _was_ within earshot.

"You're welcome, Riza."

* * *

**One week later**

Military-issue boots scraped along a dirt path in the countryside. Resembool was, in many ways, the opposite of Central, or even East City where they were stationed—instead of a constant bustle of people and cars and trains, it was quiet, with the exception of birds and livestock. Instead of streets and endless rows of buildings, grass sprawled for miles, with structures few and far between. The sky was blue and bright, and it generally felt quite peaceful. And were they there for any other reason, Riza would have appreciated the landscape for its natural beauty.

But, as it stood, this was no sightseeing trip. She was there to offer two troubled, orphaned children a better chance—one that they might not accept, and part of her honestly hoped they wouldn't. Children had no place in the military. (She'd often felt children had no business learning alchemy, either—especially not in the case of two ten and eleven-year-old boys.) Even so, she already knew she wanted to protect them, though she would never let Roy in on her emotions. A soldier like her could not be truly emotional, not when she wore the uniform. However, that did not change the fact that she knew how it felt to lose a mother. Sometimes, she still wondered if her mother would be proud of what she'd become.

Though, when Riza considered everything she'd done in Ishval… the answer to her question was, probably not.

"Lieutenant." Roy's low, firm voice brought her out of her musings as they turned down another path. "We're almost there." Riza nodded, but he did not take his eyes off of her. "…Are you alright?"

Another nod. "I'm fine, Colonel," she replied, straightening her posture even more. Out of the corner of her eye, Riza saw him frown a little, as if he wasn't completely satisfied with her answer, but he did not say anything more on the matter. So, the lieutenant decided to shift the subject back to the matter at hand.

Riza turned to look at the Colonel. "The place we're headed… what does it look like?"

Roy tilted his head forward, gesturing with his ungloved hand. "Like that." Riza looked back in the direction he'd motioned towards, and found a house at the end of the hill. It was rather tall, with balcony, and painted a cheerful pale yellow, trimmed with a dark green. A large sign bearing the word _AUTOMAIL_ was posted by the entrance.

 _It's a nice place_ , Riza thought, as they drew closer. _Almost… reminds me of my childhood home._ Once they reached the foot of the house, she noticed a large black-and-white dog laying on the porch—with one leg made from automail, no less. As she and Roy headed up the porch steps, the dog stood on all fours and barked.

"Den!" The muffled voice of what sounded like an older woman emanated from inside the house. "Be quiet!" Roy knocked quite sharply on the front door, then stepped back. The dog stopped making noise, and went back to laying on his sunny spot on the porch.

"Hold on, I'm coming…" that same voice grumbled, and the door creaked open a few moments later. Standing in the doorway was a very short old woman, with grayish-brown hair tied up in a high ponytail and small round glasses perched on her nose. When she caught sight of Roy, her eyes went wide.

" _You?!_ " She exclaimed. "What are you doing back already? The boys don't need—"

"With all due respect, Ms. Rockbell, I'm not here to argue," Roy said firmly. "I'm just here to talk to them." She let out a heavy sigh at his words, but stood aside, and Roy nodded slightly in her direction as he and Riza entered the house. "Thank you, Ms. Rockbell."

She shook her head. "It's just Pinako." Riza, who entered after her superior, shut the door behind them, and Pinako turned her head to scrutinize Riza. "Who's your friend, Colonel?"

"First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye," she answered, before Roy could say anything. Pinako gave her a curt nod, then beckoned the two soldiers forward.

Pinako guided them to her kitchen table, and waited until both of them had sat down before she spoke up. She perched herself in a chair, leaning over the table, and sighed. "All right, Colonel. You told me two weeks ago that you would be back once you'd figured out a way to address what they'd done. Surely, you haven't come up with something that quickly?" Pinako gave him a very sharp look. "Don't tell me you came here to arrest a couple of kids for the crime of wanting to bring their mother back."

Roy shook his head. "No, I wouldn't do anything like that. I'm here to talk about something that can be done to help them. It's why I brought the Lieutenant with me." Riza nodded in affirmation as Roy spoke. "We'll need to have them present," he explained.

Pinako was silent for a long while as she thought that over, but finally nodded. "Fine, I'll go get them. Wait here."

Riza did not have to wait long for the other woman to return. At her side was what Riza knew to be a hollow suit of armor, bonded to the soul of Alphonse Elric. He, in turn, was pushing a wheelchair that practically swallowed the scrawny blond boy—Edward—sitting inside it. Standing next to them was a small girl with wide eyes and long blonde hair in a ponytail that the Lieutenant did not recognize.

Riza drew in a breath—she'd forgotten that she wasn't always the best when it came to talking to children. However, she managed a slight smile, and waved. The little girl looked up at her, studying her pensively from across the table.

"Hello," Riza greeted her, and the girl only averted her eyes, turned, and fled from the room. It made Riza tense momentarily, until Pinako sighed fondly and shook her head in the direction the girl had gone. "Don't mind my granddaughter, Lieutenant. Winry isn't always the most comfortable around strangers."

What Riza could not tell Pinako was that she knew the real reason behind Winry's reaction. One look into the shy, sad eyes of that little girl, and suddenly Riza was looking at a ghost of her former self. "Don't worry about it, Pinako. I understand," she replied, then turned her attention to the boys.

"You're Edward and Alphonse Elric, right?" Alphonse gave her a slight nod in confirmation, and walked up to the table. The armor that comprised his body made a slight clanking sound as he did so. "Most people just call us Ed and Al, though."

His voice was… hollow. Knowing what she did about him, this should not have been a surprise to Riza, but knowing of something and witnessing it firsthand were two entirely different things. Despite her shock, though, she was able to give Al a slight smile. "It's nice to meet you."

Al nodded, and Roy cleared his throat. "I imagine you want to know why we're here." Ed glowered at him from his position across the table, but Roy did not give him time to respond. "I never expected to find a young boy skilled enough to attempt human transmutation—or advanced enough to bond a soul to a suit of armor." For a moment, Riza thought he sounded impressed, and realized that, though he'd never admit it, he probably was.

"I'd say that, if you wanted it, you are more than qualified to become a State Alchemist, Edward," Roy went on. For a split second, Riza saw him tense up—he was leaning forward a bit, with one hand pressed against the surface of the table, and his flat palm became a fist. "It'd be easy for you to get outfitted with automail limbs, even, but… there is an obstacle."

He paused for a moment, turning his eyes toward Riza, and she looked back at him—but only for a moment. "I know that the military can give you both a second chance," Roy said firmly. "You'd have the ability to travel anywhere, as well as research grants and access to otherwise restricted materials. All you'd be required to do in return is serve the military during a national emergency. I'll even keep your actions involving human transmutation and soul bonding a secret. To be frank, I'd like to know if there's a way to get your bodies back as much as you probably do."

At that, Ed finally found his voice. "You said something about an obstacle." His words came out in a harsh whisper, barely audible. "If I'm qualified enough to do all of that, then what's the problem?"

Roy sighed. "Your age, Edward. Your physical condition can be improved with surgery and rehabilitation, of course, but nothing can change the fact that you are an eleven-year-old child. Granted, the rehab will take a significant amount of time, so I would imagine you'd be able to become a State Alchemist after that."

Then he glanced back over at his lieutenant—who met his gaze without a second thought. "In the meantime, you and your brother need someone to look out for you and help rein in your skill in alchemy. It's why I brought Lieutenant Hawkeye with me—if you want to join the military after you've been rehabilitated, your best bet is going with her to East City as soon as possible. Of course, it's your decision, but she's offered to take you in."

Al was the one who spoke up that time. "You mean, you want us to… live with you?" Riza opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Pinako.

"Hold on just a minute, Colonel. These boys came to my door, one of them half-dead and covered in blood, and I took care of them. I've taken care of Winry ever since she lost her parents, too. Ed and Al should stay with someone they know—not to mention, where they grew up. You can't just steal them from—"

"It's okay." That voice belonged to Ed, and his sudden interjection made everyone stop and face him. "I want to become a State Alchemist so I can fix all of this. Mom would want me to fix this." Then he sighed, looking at Riza. "If staying with you will help me do that, then…" Ed shrugged.

Riza sighed, suddenly feeling very guilty. She was ready to drag two children into all of this without really asking how they _felt_ about it. Roy had explained the purpose it could serve, but neither of them had asked the question that needed to be raised the most. And that look in Edward's eyes when he mentioned his mother…

She'd be lying if she said it wasn't breaking her heart a little.

So, Riza turned back to look at Pinako and the Colonel. "If it's all right with them, may I speak to the boys alone for a minute?" Roy nodded immediately, but Pinako hesitated. Riza understood the older woman's apprehension, to an extent—she was obviously quite protective of the children under her care, and for that, Riza would not blame her.

After a brief pause, Pinako nodded in assent as well. "This way, Colonel," she said, leading him out of the room in the same direction Winry had gone. "If you'd like something to drink, I can have Winry get some tea for you."

"That would be nice, Pinako," she heard the Colonel say in reply. He was using the voice he always put on when trying to sound charming. "Thank you."

Once they were out of earshot, Riza walked across the room and stopped in front of Ed's wheelchair, dropping to one knee to meet his eye. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off with his own words. "What's this all about, Lieutenant? Is there something you wanna tell us?"

She nodded. "Yes, Edward." Her voice came out rather quietly—hardly more than a whisper. "There is." Riza sighed, and almost tensed up entirely when she realized a tear stung her eye. She couldn't get worked up over this, especially not now. "I want you to know that I don't blame you for what you did. You just wanted your mother back. There's nothing wrong with that."

"What do you know about it?!" Ed snapped, and his brother laid a gentle hand on his uninjured shoulder. "Brother, it's all right."

Riza shook her head, waving a hand dismissively. "No, you're right to be upset with me. You don't know me, after all. I just thought that… you should know that you won't be subject to anger over what you did. If you come stay with me, I mean. It's your decision, of course. I want to help you, not force you into doing something you don't want."

This time, it was Al who responded. "If Brother really wants to do this, I'm fine with it. So… thank you." Riza nodded in acknowledgment of the younger boy's words, and Ed sighed. His one remaining hand went to his hair, fingers tangling in the unruly mess it was, despite being choppy and short. Riza thought he could stand to take a brush to it, then scolded herself inwardly for getting distracted by something so inconsequential at a time like this. Before she could say anything else to him, Ed spoke up.

"I'll do it. But only if I can get my automail here." He chuckled. "Winry would never forgive me if I didn't. She loves automail." Riza smiled at that, and Al nodded in confirmation. "Yeah, she's really good at building it."

"Of course you can do that," Riza told Ed, trying to sound as warm as possible. (Privately, she thought to herself that she really needed to get better at speaking to children.) "And you can stay here as long as you need to get your things in order." Then her expression changed from a calm, gentle one to something more serious. "I just have to ask you one more question."

Ed let out an impatient sigh, resting his chin in his hand. "All right, what is it?" He watched Riza's physical response, made a note of the way her hand twitched forward, as though she wanted to reach for him, but flinched and stopped herself almost immediately afterward. What was the word for that, again?

Suddenly, it came to him. _Self-restraint._ He'd read the term in one of his father's old books. It meant control, holding back, stopping emotions from taking hold, and doing what was logical even if emotions said to do otherwise. If he'd exercised more restraint himself, he might not be in this mess. But there was no use thinking about that—even he knew he couldn't change the past. He'd known the risks of human transmutation and done it anyway, and now he had to live with the consequences and fix them himself.

Riza spoke up after a brief pause, breaking Ed from his thoughts. "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? Even with me to look out for you, I won't always be able to guarantee your safety—especially if you traveled somewhere unaccompanied. Though I wouldn't recommend that, anyway," Riza added quickly. "My point is, military life isn't easy for any of us, whether we're ordinary soldiers or State Alchemists. It would be that much more difficult for someone as young as you to manage. I just want to make sure you know what you'd be getting into."

To Riza's surprise, Ed didn't waste any time at all before answering—and he even had a bit of a smile on his face. "That's the thing about me," he said. "I know the risks for things, and I do them anyway if I really want to." His voice softened then. "It's why we attempted human transmutation. We would do anything if it meant getting our mom back, no matter the risk. And we'll do anything to get our bodies back, too."

At that, Riza got to her feet. "Well, it is your choice. I just hope you'll be careful."

"We'll try," Al answered for them, then sighed. "We… we are sorry for what we did, though. We didn't want anyone to get hurt."

Riza nodded, smiling in sympathy. "I know you didn't. You missed your mom." Then she let out an almost inaudible sigh. "I know I'll never replace your mother, so I won't try to. And I can't promise that fixing things will always come easily for you, even with the title of State Alchemist. But I will do whatever I can to take care of you. _That_ , I promise."

* * *

Meanwhile, in another room, Roy had accepted a cup of tea from the small, shy blonde girl named Winry, offering his thanks when she held it out to him. (Pinako had gone out into their backyard, thus leaving him with no other company besides the girl.) Then, to his surprise, instead of fleeing the room, she took a seat on the couch next to him—though she kept her distance, and sat with her knees drawn up to her chest.

They sat in silence like that for a little while—what was taking Riza so long to talk to the boys, he really wanted to know—until Winry spoke up, in a voice so high and soft he almost didn't hear her.

"Excuse me, Colonel?"

Roy froze, the cup of tea halfway to his mouth, then turned to face her. "You can just call me Roy if you want," he replied, giving her a smile. For a moment, he was reminded of Riza, many years ago, who had that same shy look on her face the day he met her, when she was twelve years old and he four years her senior. "Roy Mustang. And you're Winry, right? Nice to meet you."

He extended his hand toward the girl, but she looked away. "Colonel Roy… have you ever had to shoot anyone?"

In that moment, Roy knew it would be of no use to lie to Winry, so he nodded. "Yes. I have." Winry sighed, curling into an even tighter ball.

"I hate what you soldiers do," she said bitterly, sniffling. "Soldiers like you are the reason my mom and dad left during the war, and soldiers are the reason they're dead." Her voice cracked, and Roy knew the little girl was about to cry. For a moment, his heart went out to her. "And now y… now you're here to take Ed and Al away, too," she choked.

 _Poor girl_ , Roy thought. _She's lost a lot._ He could see the grief in her eyes, grief that was an eerie echo of how Riza used to look as a child when speaking about her deceased mother. His own parents had died when he was a kid, as well—but unlike Winry, he had no one to blame. They were driving a car in the rain and had gone off a slippery road. It had been an accident, plain and simple.

But Winry didn't need more anger to hold onto—she couldn't have been any older than Edward was, and she had that familiar look in her eyes: as though the burden of the world was on her shoulders. He'd seen the same look on Ed, too. "If they do leave, it will be entirely up to them," he murmured in reply. "Lieutenant Hawkeye only wants to give them an opportunity, not make them feel obligated. And if they already feel obligated to try and correct their mistakes, well… she didn't make them feel that way."

Winry stared down at the floor, still not meeting Roy's eye. "Mr. Mustang… why did you become a soldier?"

He sighed. That was, in some ways, a difficult question to answer, one that really should have been asked of Riza. Her reasons were clear-cut and with an obvious goal from the start, while his original goal had gone from simple to… convoluted, to say the least, especially in recent years. Though there was one thing that would always serve as a motivation, no matter what kind of hell he went through. "Because I'm protecting someone," Roy finally answered. "I always will be, so long as they're still alive."

Winry stiffened quite visibly at his response, then finally turned and held his gaze with those wide blue eyes. She opened her mouth to say something to him, but was interrupted by the door swinging open before she could speak.

"Colonel," Riza greeted him formally on entering the room, and Roy got to his feet, leaving the teacup behind on a table next to the couch. "I've spoken to them."

"And?" Roy asked expectantly, and got a nod in return. "They want to go to East City. But only on the condition that Ed gets his automail fitted here in Resembool." At that, Winry perked up quite visibly and sprang up from the couch. "I'll go get my tools!"

Then she dashed from the room with a vivacity they hadn't seen in her before, and it was enough to elicit a smile from Riza. Just then, Pinako came into the front room, with Den at her heels. She looked surprised to see them both standing at attention near the door, and tilted her head at them.

"Are you two leaving?" Riza opened her mouth to answer, but a pointed glance from Roy was enough to silence her. He took a step forward, addressing the older woman directly. "Pinako, we need to know how long it will take for Edward to be healed enough to transport to East City. He and his brother have agreed to go with my lieutenant—after Edward is fitted with automail limbs. I imagine he will need time to heal before he can handle the travel."

Pinako nodded. "It usually takes a couple of weeks for it to be safe enough to travel long distances, in the case of legs. Even then, he'd still need the wheelchair, or at least a cane, for a little while longer. Not to mention, Winry will need time to construct the limbs. You'll need to wait about a month." Then she sighed. "I'll admit, I'm still not comfortable with the idea of them being so far from here. But if that's what they want…" Pinako trailed off with a shrug.

In that moment, the lieutenant came to a decision. It wasn't something she'd prepared for, but she could make do. "I understand," Riza answered, giving the older woman a kind look. "If you like, I'll stay somewhere in Resembool while he recovers. It might actually be easier that way." Pinako gave her a surprised look, but did not speak.

Roy, however, did not seem to agree with his subordinate. "Lieutenant," he said firmly. "I understand your desire to help, but you're needed back at Eastern Command for your usual duties." He gave her a sharp look, but Riza met his gaze easily, not wavering in the slightest.

"Then I request a leave of absence," she countered, without hesitation. "Six weeks. Respectfully, sir, they aren't going to be living with you. So you may not fully understand why I want to stay, but I'd like to help in any way I can." To her left, Riza could have sworn she heard a stifled laugh from Pinako.

Roy sighed, chuckling a little at her sheer will. "Well, I recognize I can't convince you otherwise. But I hope you know I'm going to catch hell from Grumman for allowing this when I get back to Command. We don't just hand out leave to anyone who wants it with no notice."

She straightened her posture, folding both hands behind her back. "I honestly don't think it will be a problem, sir, not once you explain. Lieutenant General Grumman is my personal friend as well as your own." Riza glanced back over at Pinako. "I apologize for having this conversation in front of you, Ms. Rockbell." She knew Pinako had instructed them to call her by her first name, but couldn't help slipping into formalities out of habit.

Pinako waved a dismissive hand in answer. "It doesn't really matter to me. I have no idea who you're talking about." Roy let out a slight laugh at her blunt remark, and even Riza smiled a little. Her eyes followed as Pinako left the room once more.

Then her gaze wandered back to the Colonel, who was now standing stiffly in front of the door. Riza knew he wanted to leave before she even asked, considering his body language and the way he tapped restlessly against the floor with one foot. He'd always been like that, even when they were younger—constantly fidgeting and pacing, never able to stay completely still. (She suspected that was one reason why he hated doing paperwork so much). So, she gave a slight nod in acknowledgment of his behavior. "I assume you're leaving?"

He nodded back. "Yes, I have to call and inform the Lieutenant General of your… change of plans. Then, of course, I have to get back to East City." Roy coughed, checking the time on his silver pocket watch, then glanced back up. "Are you coming back with me, or should I arrange for some of your things to be sent to you? You didn't pack a bag."

Riza shook her head. "I'll have Lieutenant Catalina take care of it." He nodded to show he understood, and Riza spoke again after a brief pause. "Be careful on your way back, Colonel."

Roy smirked. "I'm always careful, Lieutenant." Then, without another word, he turned and exited the house in a rush, closing the door behind him.

* * *

One week later, Edward Elric lay in a hospital bed, with Winry, Pinako, his brother, and Riza beside him. Bandages covered the stump on his arm and a section of his torso, since he was about to be prepped for surgery. Pinako was scrutinizing him carefully, while Winry, who was holding a tray of surgical tools, seemed pensive. Riza sat next to Alphonse, across from where the two women stood, and was the closest to Edward's bedside—and wanted to stay that way. Even though the surgery was not an especially risky procedure, Riza could still feel her heart pounding in her ears. She was… afraid for him.

"Are you sure you won't regret this?" Riza asked, when silence settled over the room. Ed flinched a little and surprise and turned to face her, shaking his head firmly.

"My mind's made up," he replied. Riza got one look at the fire burning in Ed's golden eyes, and knew that he wouldn't be swayed. Any sort of protest she would have made died on her lips, and she buried her apprehension deep down, forcing herself not to feel it. It worked for countless other emotions, so Riza thought she could at least try to not be afraid. He had agreed to live with her, after all, and thus knew—even if he wouldn't say so out loud—that he had agreed to let her help him in the future.

He then glanced back at Winry and Pinako. "How long will the surgery and rehabilitation take?"

"I'd say about three years, more or less." Riza knew he would not like the answer even before Pinako said it, since she was vaguely familiar with the basics of automail prosthetics—namely, that they connected to the remaining nerves, and that it took a few years for someone to be completely rehabilitated.

However, she did not expect his response to the news. He drew in a sharp breath and stared straight ahead, clenching his fist against the bedcover, that same determination still flashing in his eyes. "I'll do it in one."

Riza had already been resisting an impulse for several minutes, but with that proclamation, she was unable to stop herself from reaching for his hand. "Ed—"

He pulled his hand away from her, and immediately Riza regretted her decision. After all, she had already said she would not try to replace their mother. "Don't!" Ed snapped, practically baring his teeth at her. "Don't pretend you're Mom."

"I'm sorry," Riza murmured, fighting every impulse in her that said to argue. She bowed her head slightly, and the tension in Ed's body eased. "I promised I wouldn't." Riza looked back up, and found that his expression had softened. His hand, which had previously been curled in a fist, was now flat, resting against the fabric of the blanket without distorting it.

Ed sighed, and Pinako gave him a stern, if slightly wearied, look. "Mother or not, she's right to be concerned about you. You'll have yourself spitting blood. You know that, right?"

He nodded stoically. "I know," he said. "I know, and I accept that." then he turned to look at Al and smiled, genuinely, for the first time since Riza met him. "Just hang in there a little longer, okay, Al? Then we're gonna get you your body back; I promise."

"Right," Al replied, and his voice sounded considerably lighter. "And while we're at it, we'll get yours back, too." Ed nodded.

Then his eyes flickered back over to Riza, who was regarding him rather intently with those wide brown eyes of hers. She still looked like a soldier, even in some of the civilian clothing her friend Rebecca had brought her—a black turtleneck and loose gray pants—because of how composed she always was. Not to mention the short haircut. But right now, even though the rest of her face did not show any emotion… her eyes were soft. Gentle. Kind, even. In that respect, she looked like a mother and not a soldier.

Though Ed would never say such a thing aloud.

* * *

In one week, Ed gained enough mobility to drag a brush through his hair and hold a pen—though his artificial fingers still trembled. Two more weeks, and he could take wobbling steps through a room if he held onto furniture, but fell over often and got tired quite easily. He needed a lot of help, either way, and complained about it every chance he got.

Riza never lost her patience with him, which was something that completely puzzled Ed. She never snapped at him during that first week, when his hand shook so badly, he couldn't even brush his own hair—and screamed at Riza when she'd sat down to do it herself. She'd only sighed and combed through his hair, ignoring any protests and telling him calmly that his hair was a disheveled mess and needed to be fixed either way. She hadn't fought back or yelled at all when he regained his ability to walk shakily and, when he had almost fallen, resisted her attempts at catching him—and he was quite forceful about it, too.

In retrospect, it almost made him feel guilty. Riza had been stern, but something resembling nice, as well. For a soldier, anyway—and it was certainly different to how Colonel Mustang had treated him the first time they'd met. He had to wonder if she would stay the same once they went to East City and she returned to her job. Ed knew he was a lot of things, but naïve was not one of them—people could change at the drop of a hat.

Riza herself, with the exception of the heaviness constantly hanging in the air, almost enjoyed her stay in Resembool. Winry, who was the same age as Edward, was proving to be a mechanical prodigy, and quite happy to chatter away about her automail projects. The girl was very sweet, and pretty too—her long hair that she kept tied back in a ponytail was the same shade as Riza's, and she had to wonder if it wouldn't be such a bad idea to let her own hair grow long. And she'd almost grown fond of the little girl, despite the short amount of time they'd spent together.

Even Pinako, protective of her boys as she was, grew to like Riza's presence. The older woman shared small anecdotes about Ed and Al when they weren't around to hear and complain about it, and Riza did whatever she could to help out around the house. She supposed that Winry liking her didn't hurt her case, either.

Edward was impatient about his recovery, as Riza had expected. Another week passed, and he was up and walking steadily with a cane Winry had given him. His hand was still a bit unstable, and he constantly grumbled about having to relearn writing, but Riza knew his strength was returning—and as his strength grew, so did his restlessness. At one point, Winry chased after him with a wrench for risking damage to her automail, when he and Al tore through the backyard running and he fell quite roughly. He spent that evening complaining about the girl's fussing over him, and Winry hovered for hours with her wrench, adjusting various gears and bolts.

That same week, Winry declared him strong enough to travel, and the next few days were chaos as the boys scrambled to fit their possessions into suitcases. Ed had so many books he wanted to take with him that there was hardly any room for the necessary things in his bag. That was the one thing he didn't protest an offer of help with, though he did object quite vehemently at her suggestion to leave some of the alchemy textbooks behind.

But, thankfully, the three managed to pack up their belongings on time and leave for the train station with little incident. Winry watched from the porch as they left, and even ran after them to hug Ed and Al. Riza gave her a smile, shaking the young girl's hand. "I guess this is goodbye for now, Winry," she murmured. "I hope to see you again soon."

Winry looked at the ground as Riza spoke, but gathered enough courage to meet her gaze and reply. "Will you keep them safe for me?" There was so much worry in the girl's eyes that that original guilt washed over Riza once more. She knew, like any soldier, that there were no guarantees of safety in the military.

Even so, she gave Winry a firm nod. "I'll do my best. I swear it."

 _I just hope I can keep that promise_ , Riza thought then. There was so much at play, with her career and Ed's goals and Roy's hidden agenda that she had to stay loyal to. She wasn't an alchemist, but she was familiar enough with scientific and mathematical terms to know what her father would have called a situation like this. She could almost hear his voice in her head as she turned and boarded the train with Ed and Al at her side.

 _Don't make promises you can't keep, foolish girl._ That's what he would have said. _Too many unknown variables are present in this equation. The only guarantee here is that you will inevitably be forced to choose who to let down._ And perhaps her father would have been right.

(Riza Hawkeye did not believe in ghosts. But even in death, her father's voice continued to haunt her—though his own spirit was not behind it.)

But she'd spent so much of her life, from the day her mother died onward, believing her father was right about everything. Maybe, for once, she'd let herself believe he was wrong.

Maybe things could be different this time.

* * *

**One year later...**

Ed and Al chased Black Hayate through the park in East City, both yelling from the antics of the small Shiba Inu. The dog, in the mood to play, had managed to wrench his leash from Ed's grasp and take off running, forcing the pair to speed after him for quite some time. Finally, Ed took a diving leap forward, balancing expertly on his automail arm, and grabbed ahold of Hayate's leash with his other hand while still upside down. "Got you, you crazy mutt!"

"That was amazing, Brother!" Al exclaimed, clearly impressed by Ed's one-armed handstand. "Between that and how well you're doing in our sparring, it looks like you're in perfect shape!"

Ed propelled himself forward, landing on both his feet, and grinned up at his brother. His fist was still closed around Hayate's leash, who was now barking madly and weaving everywhere, as if trying to participate in the lively mood the Elric brothers were in. "Yeah, you're right," he agreed, setting his hands on his hips. He smirked, glancing down at the dog, and tugged his leash closer. "Come on, boy, let's go!" he exclaimed, clearly excited. "I'm finally ready to take the State Alchemist exam!"

Edward Elric, now twelve years old, set off for the apartment in East City that belonged to Riza Hawkeye. He had to tell her that he'd be taking the exam as soon as possible.

Technically, the place was his and Al's house, too—especially since, on paper, Riza was now their legal guardian—but Ed still didn't like to call it anything more than the place he slept in at night. The apartment was a nice place—warm, lived-in, and usually smelling like whatever Riza was cooking, if a bit cramped with him and Al sharing the spare room—but it wasn't _home_. Riza was not their mother. Their mother was gone—and even Winry and Pinako weren't around. Still, the thought of becoming a State Alchemist made the sacrifice worth it.

He let himself in with the spare key she'd given him, Al and Hayate in tow, and didn't hesitate to loudly announce his presence. "Hey! We're back!"

Something clattered behind the kitchen counter, and Ed peeked over the edge to find Riza, stooped over and rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. It was her day off, after all, so she was free to be home and work on whatever she felt like doing.

That was something Ed had learned about her—even outside of the military, Riza was always busy. Whether it was doing paperwork that lazy Colonel couldn't be bothered to fill out himself, taking long and complicated phone calls where names of people he didn't know were frequently mentioned, or even cleaning the apartment and trying out different recipes, she was always _doing_ something. He hardly ever saw his guardian relax, and even that was usually just reading.

And today was no exception—there was a huge pot of something on the stove that smelled like meat that must have been lunch, and Riza was desperately rifling through her cabinets in search of, judging by her muttering, a knife for peeling potatoes. Then, she hissed what suspiciously sounded like a curse word under her breath. She must have remembered something.

"You need help back there?" Al spoke up. Finally, Riza acknowledged them, turning away from the cabinet and rising to her feet, glancing over at Al.

"Oh, no," she replied. "I was just looking for something, but then I realized I put it on the counter already." Riza chuckled, then gave Al a smile. "Thanks for asking, though." She turned her attention to his older brother, who was not-so-subtly sniffing with interest in the direction of what she had cooking on the stove.

"You hungry, Ed?" Riza asked. "Rebecca lent me a recipe for stew that she's used before, so I thought I'd give it a try."

He nodded vehemently. "Hell yes." Riza rolled her eyes and murmured something that sounded like "language" to Ed under her breath, but said nothing else about it.

Then, she chuckled. "It'll be ready in about ten minutes. Why don't you set the—"

"Yeah, yeah, set the table, I know the drill," Ed grumbled, but Riza knew he wasn't really as annoyed as he was acting. She knew how he acted when he was truly angry, and a little complaining was far from the extent of it.

She had to smile to herself at that thought while she leaned over the stove. After just one year, she knew Ed fairly well, despite his closed-off, somewhat abrasive nature. And Al was a lot more forthcoming, and had a sweeter disposition that was not present in his brother, so she understood him too. Riza knew she was fond of them, despite her efforts to fight it—Ed probably only saw her as a means to an end, anyway, which she knew he had every right to. Not to mention the lack of certainty that came with being in the military, which she knew Ed would pursue sooner or later. She'd tried to avoid getting more attached than what was appropriate, especially since she was only a temporary guardian, but Riza had to admit that now, after such a short time with them, every bone in her body wanted to protect them from the harsh world of the military.

Riza let out a sigh. She wanted to grab Edward and take him and his brother back home, to the place with warmer weather and fresh air and blue skies that they grew up in. Anything was preferable to a kid risking everything. But she'd gotten them this far, and Ed's mind was made up. All she could do now was support them in their efforts, and give them a soft place to land whenever she could. _Like a hawk sheltering its young beneath its wings_ , she thought to herself, slightly bemused at her choice of analogy.

She'd known for a long time that being a support and a safe haven was what it meant to look after a child, but she'd never imagined it would be quite like this. For one, Riza had never thought she'd take in children with aspirations to become dogs of the military, at least so soon in their lives.

But, Riza also had to admit that she wanted to be a mother. She'd never shared that with anyone but herself, but it was undeniable. She'd wanted to be a mother for some time, and in their own way, Edward and Alphonse had given her that.

And for that, she was grateful.

* * *

Over the lunch that Ed happily devoured—while Riza ate a bit more carefully—the older of the two brothers announced that he was ready to take the State Alchemist exam as soon as possible. Despite the instinctive feeling of something dropping in her stomach, Riza gave him a kind smile and told him she'd call Roy and make the arrangements, but reminded him he'd have to wait at least a couple of days before everything would be ready. He accepted that with little complaint, and went right back to practically inhaling his meal—though not before promising Al that he'd make sure his brother got to taste the stew as soon as he got his body back.

Riza excused herself as soon as she was done eating, with Al reassuring her that he'd clear up everything. She made a brief phone call to Roy, explaining the situation with Ed. After letting her know he'd take care of it, he asked Riza if she was all right. She dodged the question and promptly hung up, but felt a little guilty afterwards. The worry had been plain in his voice.

Then, she locked herself in her room for fifteen minutes, letting out choked sobs into a pillow despite her best efforts not to cry. Riza was furious with herself for shedding tears, but that didn't stop the emotional response. She _knew_ why Ed and Al were here in the first place. She _knew_ this was going to happen sooner or later, and that she couldn't exactly stop them from trying to reach their goals.

So why was she suddenly so afraid for them?

Deep down, Riza knew why. She'd done her best to make good on her promise not to replace their mother, and Edward hadn't reminded her of it since the day he got his surgery, but that hadn't stopped Riza from coming to think of them as _her_ boys. They were probably the closest Riza would ever get to having children of her own. She didn't want to lose them.

When the Colonel had warned her it would be difficult to look after two boys, he'd forgotten to warn her about this. The attachment. The bond she'd formed with Al, her fond exasperation at Edward's impulsive, stubborn behavior, and the way that even Hayate was partial to them… Riza did not want to lose that.

Even so, she knew she had to let them go. However, she realized in that moment, fighting her emotions, that if she didn't say her private goodbyes now, it was bound to surface sooner or later. So, she gave in, no longer suppressing what was clawing at her chest and the back of her throat, and let the tears flow.

Riza shed no more tears when Ed left for his State Alchemist exam. She shed no tears when yelling at him that running after the Fuhrer with a weapon during his examination—since Roy had witnessed it and told her—was a foolish, insane thing to do. She kept her composure when Winry came to visit, who nearly cried when she flung her arms around Ed and begged him to not stay gone for too long if he did become a State Alchemist. She didn't even cry when Ed and Roy broke the news to her that he'd received his state certification and pocket watch, and was granted the title of Fullmetal.

A single tear finally fell when Ed and Al left East City to chase down their first lead, but only after she watched their train depart. There, at the station, with wind in her hair and a teardrop trickling slowly down her cheek, Riza made her peace. As much as she wished she could deny it, Edward Elric was no longer just a child.

He was now the Fullmetal Alchemist, and she'd let him go. But no matter what happened, she would be there as soon as they were ready to return. It was part of a promise she'd made, after all.

And Riza always kept her promises.


End file.
